Did you know that neuroscience today confirms something many of us feel intuitively — that we are wired for connection? We feel best, healthiest, and most ourselves when we are connected to others. When we feel close, accepted, understood, and when we can truly relax in the presence of another person. The theory that helps …
Why Partner Conflict Is So Painful: a Polyvagal Perspective Read More »
Sometimes we believe that simply understanding the reasons behind our self-defeating behavior will be enough to stop it. But insight is only one step in the process of change. For example, we might realize that we keep choosing emotionally unavailable partners because we grew up in an emotionally unavailable family. We see the pattern …
The Four Stages of Change and Growth: Why Insight Alone Isn’t Enough to Change Read More »
goes:
“Oh my God, I almost tripped over your shoes that you left out in the middle of the floor! You can be such a slob, Terry… can you think of other people and put your shoes away?!
I don’t hear that as my adult wife- I am a 4 year old and I am being screamed at by my father.
“If I insist on setting boundaries, he will leave me.” “ I can’t get into another fight right now, it easier to just put up with it and say nothing.” Sometimes it seems easier to sacrifice our boundaries than to risk losing the other person. This fear of abandonment leads us to …
What can we do when we’re already overwhelmed by intense emotions and cannot calm ourselves down? Not only does saying to ourselves “I’ve gotta calm down!” not seem to work, but we may find ourselves propelled further into a state of panic and powerlessness. First, it’s important that we acknowledge that thinking …
How to calm down when we feel overwhelmed by intense emotions? Read More »